Valentine's Day: A Blind Date Experiment

Throw our names in a hat, pick a name and set them up on a blind date in the name of St. Valentine! Why I agreed to this, I'll never know.

Four friends and I have agreed to be set up as part of my friend Nkem's "Valentine's Day Experiment," just for fun. Nkem came to us with this Aphrodite-esque  proposal and most were reluctant at first, but we succumbed to her plans. 

Meet the Players!

Alexis - The Reluctant One

Claudette - The Positive One

Karenda - The One on the Fence

Nkem - The Mastermind

Miss Emme - The Observant One

Alexis was the hardest to convince and Claudette's participation was dependent on Alexis'. Once they were in, the game was on! My hope for this experiment is for everyone to open up a bit and more importantly have fun. We're all young, educated, driven Black women, why shouldn't we live a little?

The group has created stipulations that I'll think we'll keep to ourselves and we're quite open-minded, so long as the men are eligible bachelors. We picked the names out of the hat and followed up with "consultations." We know the blind dates are just for fun, but we still want them to be good! I'm to procure a date for Claudette, Claudette's to find a date for Nkem while Nkem's working on a young man for Karenda and finally  Karenda's going to set me up. We've been brainstorming together to find the perfect date for Alexis!

The dates have been chosen and set up for different days this week. So, stay tuned for a follow-up on the V-Day Experiment. 

bisou, bisou

Miss Emme

Girls... with Friends

Friends. They seem to be an epidemic in young Black relationships. We've heard it in music, seen it on film and have even observed in our own lives. No matter how intensely you feel about your significant other, there always seems to be that one friend that you just cannot stand. It's that simple.

"I don't like them," is the phrase that's spewed out and often paired with a disapproving expression. The reasons may vary, but the issue exists across the board. Whether it's the friend with the bad attitude, the friend that is single or the most-hated male friend, there is a question about why the relationship exists. 

My friends weren't well-liked in my last relationship and neither was the fact that I had a lot more male friends and acquaintances than he expected. He thought that my stance with him was compromised by my loyalty to my friends and male friends always had some hidden agenda. It was difficult to find a median, having to remain true to my friendships and still creating a comfortable environment for my significant other. I'm sure I'm not the only woman that has had to find the balance between the two.

I've heard of all sorts of reasons why men didn't like the company kept by their woman. Single friends are another common issue, having a problem with the advice that they give to where they spend their time and how they dress. They love spending time with you and hate on your relationship just so the two of you can be single together. Then there's the Martin-Pam combination, enough said.

The idea that a man or woman didn't like their partner's friends has always denoted, for me, a lack of trust in their partner's judgment. And with that logic it only leads me to ask, if she can't pick good friends, how could she possibly pick a good boyfriend?

It sometimes seems as if a man's loyalty to his friends completely overrides a woman's loyalty to hers. I believe that it ties right into the traditional concept of women having to sacrifice their lifestyles and replacing it with that of their significant other. Are young women still filing themselves into those positions? How are we supposed love and accept every friend that they've made in a lifetime, when they won't think twice about accepting ours?

bisou, bisou

Miss Emme