I was listening to Wale's "Ambitious Girl" track off of his More About Nothing mixtape [which I do often] and was fascinated by his admiration of a young woman who chases her dreams. He described it as a turn-on saying things like, "...your drive drives me crazy" and "...your productivity is the reason I interest." It's definitely a fitting song for the young women at my university, especially the ones I surround myself with; young Black women who are dream chasers.
This same song also left me reflecting on the famous quote from I Think I Love My Wife, "You can lose lots of money chasing women, but you will NEVER lose women chasing money." This adage doesn't particularly hold true for women. There has always been a plethora of stories, especially about Black women, losing out on love because they chose a more ambitious route. Why don't men chase the dream chasers?
Black women have so much more to lose in the pursuit of our dreams, sacrificing relationships, pushing emotions to the side and losing out personal time, having to strive a little bit harder than everyone else. There are those that push through and see their endeavors come to fruition. Others put themselves to the side and watch their dreams slip away. The truth is we can have it all, just not all at the same time.
It depends on what's important and when it becomes important. Priorities change with time, but I'm definitely using my youth to better myself, strive for my goals and grow as a person. How can I expect so much from a partner if I'm not bringing anything to the table? Let's call it evenly yoked, on all levels.
I've spoken with more experienced career women that have all met with the same challenge. Compromise. Some working harder in their fields in order to support their families and some slowing down on their career paths because they desired families. They all managed to find a balance, whether it meant sacrificing one thing or another.
But where does that leave the 20 year old college junior with entrepreneurial aspirations? And the 23 year old fresh out of a university looking for a graduate school in a new state? We are least likely to have serious obligations forcing us to make those sacrifices. Yet, we face some of our counterparts who believe the choice is simple. It's one thing to consider the future plans of a significant other and another to allow your own plans to fall by the wayside.
How much would you compromise in the name of love? Is seeking independence a man deterrent? Where are the men chasing the dream chasers [Is Wale the only one? LOL]? Is the premise of Deliver Us From Eva a prevalent reality?