Valentine's Day: A Blind Date Experiment

Throw our names in a hat, pick a name and set them up on a blind date in the name of St. Valentine! Why I agreed to this, I'll never know.

Four friends and I have agreed to be set up as part of my friend Nkem's "Valentine's Day Experiment," just for fun. Nkem came to us with this Aphrodite-esque  proposal and most were reluctant at first, but we succumbed to her plans. 

Meet the Players!

Alexis - The Reluctant One

Claudette - The Positive One

Karenda - The One on the Fence

Nkem - The Mastermind

Miss Emme - The Observant One

Alexis was the hardest to convince and Claudette's participation was dependent on Alexis'. Once they were in, the game was on! My hope for this experiment is for everyone to open up a bit and more importantly have fun. We're all young, educated, driven Black women, why shouldn't we live a little?

The group has created stipulations that I'll think we'll keep to ourselves and we're quite open-minded, so long as the men are eligible bachelors. We picked the names out of the hat and followed up with "consultations." We know the blind dates are just for fun, but we still want them to be good! I'm to procure a date for Claudette, Claudette's to find a date for Nkem while Nkem's working on a young man for Karenda and finally  Karenda's going to set me up. We've been brainstorming together to find the perfect date for Alexis!

The dates have been chosen and set up for different days this week. So, stay tuned for a follow-up on the V-Day Experiment. 

bisou, bisou

Miss Emme

Happy V-Day from Miss Emme ; ]

Some people dread it, others embrace it and the rest just don't care. Today is Valentine's Day and I'd just like to wish all the lovers of the world an Happy Valentine's Day! It's seasonably warm and the sun is shining. Walk down the street and wish someone a Happy V-Day. You might be surprised at how pleasant the response will be. Spread the LOVE!

Here's my favorite love quote for the road!

"I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straight-forwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way." -Pablo Neruda

bisou, bisou

Miss Emme

What Do You Want?!: The Non-Standard One & The Lady

This time I ventured into the realm of Terrell Brown, you're in for a surprise. I also interviewed my lovely N-Sista, Ugochi. She definitely likes a man's man. Get to know them!

Name: Terrell Brown 

Age: 20

Occupation: Student

Hometown: Baltimore, Maryland

Relationship Status: Very, very perfectly lonely

What physical attributes attract you to a woman?

Umm, well all attributes of a woman attract me. I find a beautiful piece in every woman. I have no preferences. I fall in love with every woman for about five minutes. Beggars can't be choosers. But really preferences, I fall in love with women because of their personalities. And umm, you know. I don't know, I find something beautiful in every woman. Honestly,that's the truth. That's the honest answer. 

What intangible characteristics do you find important?

Just, umm, that's a good question. I think the best intangible characteristic a woman can have is to be open-minded. I think that covers everything.

What's your favorite thing about Black women?

Besides their beautiful characteristics? I think many women and men would be honest and say their booties. 

So, that's your favorite thing about Black women?

I mean the shallow side of me. Yes, that is. Absolutely.

Would you date women of other races? Why or why not?

Why not? I would date any woman of any race. Race doesn't matter to me. If I'm trying to find a woman, I think that's really a f****ed up way to look at things. 

If you could give tell Black women everywhere the most perfect piece of advice, what would it be?

Quit the f***ing weave and s**t out and the make-up. Yeah, cut that s**t out. Like, I don't when that fad became huge. I think like in high school it became big because everybody wants to be a model these days. But I think it's pretty  f***ing annoying, honestly. I guess sometimes it's cool, but you can't just f***ing substitute your real face and hair for the rest of your life. 

If you could pick anyone in the world to take on a romantic date, who would it be?

Number one would be Oprah because I would hope that she'd break me off. Number two would be Adriana Lima, she's my new found love. Three would be Kim K. of course and number four would be Nicki Minaj's butt.

Not Nicki Minaj, but Nicki Minaj's butt apart from her?

Yeah, absolutely. And number five I'd have to say would be. I'd go with Kendra Wilkinson's rack. She has some nice boobs.

Name: Ugochi O. Nzeadighibe

Age: 21

Occupation: Student

Hometown: Baltimore, Maryland

Relationship Status: Single

What physical attributes attract you to a man?

Height (I'm short, so that's not a problem), teeth (can win me over with a lovely smile) somewhat muscular... loves a man that can wrap his arms around me, make me feel secure! Ohh and a man in uniform/dressed to impress makes me weak. lol

What intangible characteristics do you find important?

Intelligent, Honest, Confident, Strong, Motivated, Optimistic and Funny.

What's you favorite thing about  Black men?

Their determination and drive for success, strength and courage to overcome daily obstacles.

Would you date men of other races? 

I'm open to dating men form other races, learning things about their life/ the way they were raised but I prefer a black man because it's a common background we share. Plus I love chocolate (both candy & men) there is something about it. I just can't explain in words. 

If you could tell Black men everywhere the most perfect piece of advice, what would it be?

Never judge a woman from appearance alone, you will never know what you are missing out on. She might be the woman of your dreams but you let her slip away!

If you could pick anyone in the world to take on a romantic date, who would it be?

Hmm...it's hard to choose one! Lance Gross & Common!! (LOVE THEM)

If you want to be featured in a "What Do You Want?!"  post, email JadoreMissEmme@gmail.com with "interview" as the subject. 

bisou, bisou

Miss Emme

#TeamWhiteBoys

One day I was tweeting that I wanted in on #TeamWhiteBoys, meaning that I wanted to be well on my way of exploring the realm of dating a white man. To my surprise, I had quite a few retweets. I didn't know that so many other Black women were interested in venturing outside of their race. Just an observation. We created a sort of camaraderie, if you will. 

I brought the subject to my friends [of course]. A few friends were definitely welcoming to the interracial experience, but I did I have one friend who strongly disagreed. She always said she could appreciate a handsome white man, but would never date one. When I asked my Black male friends about dating a white man, they all had a slight shudder at the idea. These were the same men that were all open to the idea of dating a white woman [talk about double standards]. They found the concept to be abandonment and a result of giving up hope on Black men. I'm not giving up hope, but let's call it broadening my horizons.

Sanaa Lathan & Simon Baker in Something New

Something New was the perfect example of a young Black professional woman seeking out love and change in her life and it just happened to with a white man [FINE Simon Baker at that]. To some it's a not such a big deal and to others it seemed to mean the world. I've been asked questions about being able to relate on cultural levels with a white man. I just thought to myself that I also have cultural differences with Black Americans and other Black folk in the Diaspora, so how "different" could it be if we had the fundamental things in common? I remember my father advising me never to be romantically interested in "those American boys," but that was to no avail. I just know that I'll never be familiar "white privilege" and he'll never be able to completely understand the Black experience no matter how much he appreciates it. It comes with the territory.

Really, what harm can some casual dating do? Could I consider a white man as a serious mate? Honestly, I don't know. Could I share a few drinks and laughs with one? Absolutely. What started as a small joke has grown into a thought-provoking discussion and a new dating adventure. I'll keep you updated.

Are you #TeamWhiteBoys? Would you consider it? Is it even that serious?

bisou, bisou

Miss Emme

Gaps of the Generational Kind

Wisdom is the kind of thing that is only gained from experience. That was the obvious part, but when times change, what advice remains timeless? Is mom's advice still relevant in a time where women don't wear pantyhose, men stay in the kitchen and people meet their mates on the internet?

The unwritten rules of dating are constantly changing, but what foundational rules are going to last forever? I have a great respect for the wisdom that my elders have to endow me with, but there are times where that their advice no longer applies. So, I'm often left torn between antiquity and modernity. For instance, I'll wait for a man to open the door for me on a date, but I might pick up the bill. Which old-school rules about the opposite sex do you abide by, today?

Young men don't always meet my parents before they whisk me away on a first date and I believe that a couple should live together before they're married [because you never really know someone until you live with them]. But one piece of advice my mom gave me that always remains relevant was to "let a man be a man." Obviously, that's relative to each individual, but I found that piece of advice from Mommy to be priceless. But those priceless jewels are becoming rare. What's the best piece of generational advice you've ever received?

Another issue that crosses my mind when speaking on generational shifts, is the change in boundaries and standards that occurs. The generation before us always shakes it head in mild disapproval with a "those crazy kids" tagged to the motion. However, the question that weighs on me is when have the changes gone too far? When different behaviors become more and more acceptable as the years go by, where's the limit? What's distasteful and inappropriate? Moreover, how do we instill those old-school values to put the reigns on modernity gone awry?

In a recent conversation with my mom, she admitted that she sometimes wonders if the advice she gives me is pertinent. She doesn't worry too much because luckily I'm attached to some of the more antiquated rules than her progressive self. I'll be telling my daughter to wait for him to open all the doors and teaching my son to always offer to pay first [yeah, I said it!]. What piece of dating advice or rules will you pass down to the next generation?

bisou, bisou

Miss Emme

What Do You Want?!: The Equal Opposites

I almost feel like these two are the same type of gears grinding in the opposite direction. Both superbly creative minds, one defined and one abstract, if you will. This is one of my favorites.


Name:  Christina

Age: 20

Occupation: Full time student, office worker

Hometown: Fort Washington, MD

Relationship Status: Single 

What physical attributes attract you to a man?

I'm not really big on physical attributes, but I do notice a man's smile. If you have a beautiful smile and use it often that is an automatic attraction. Secondly would have to be the skin and lastly a fresh shape-up and nice facial hair. And oh yeah, height seeing as I'm 5'10"...

What intangible characteristics do you find important?

Honesty, creativity, goal-oriented, intelligent. 

What's your favorite thing about Black men?

Their ability to stand out. 

Would you date men of other races? Why or why not?

I would date men of other races because as long as we make a mental connection frivolous things like race will not come in the way. 

If you could tell Black men everywhere the most perfect piece of advice, what would it be?

To open up your hearts and not be afraid to love. 

If you could pick anyone in the world to take on a romantic date, who would it be? 

Hmm that's hard...NOT! Of course, Kanye West. 

Christian's interview was the first ever "What Do You Want?!" profile that was recorded. There might be more of this in the future!

Name: Christian Newson

Age: 22

Occupation: Student

Hometown: Silver Spring, MD

Relationship Status: Single

What physical attributes attract you to a woman?

Her butt. I just like thick, voluptuous women. I mean the face is all right, but it all starts at the core. 

What intangible characteristics do you find important?

Independence. Devotion to themselves, not to me. That's key.

[I asked Christian to elaborate on what he meant by devotion and here's the low down..]

You've got to be about you, you can't be worrying about me all the time. If you're worrying about me all the time the relationship's going to be all about me. I'm not going to stress you about what you do because I'll be doing me. I don't want you stressing me about what I do because I'll still be doing me. At the end of the day, that devotion you have to yourself over the devotion you have to me. 

What's your favorite thing about Black women?

The way... I don't want to say that this a bad thing because it can also be their downfall. The way they just are. Black women are not... It's like they need you, but they don't need you. They'll leave you real quick, then they'll come back even quicker. I don't know how to explain it. It's them not needing me. Out of everybody, Black women I'd probably say are the most unsubmissive. If that explains it at all. 

Would you date women of other races? Why or why not?

Yes! Because they are submissive and I can have my way with them. Not my way, but there would be very, very little argument. I'm not the type to argue, like other races don't argue. But I don't really mess with other races because I really do just like Black girls. You've got to be mixed with Black, have some of that in you. 

If you could tell Black women everywhere the most perfect piece of advice, what would it be?

To listen and communicate. Black women don't listen or communicate. They get very emotional real quick. That's all I've got for you, to listen and communicate.

If you could pick anyone in the world to take on a romantic date, who would it be? 

It would be you, Kassandre. Because honestly, you're a great friend and I just appreciate everything you do for me right now. Like even right now, where I'm at right now, you're helping me out. So, it would be you. 

If you would like to submit a "What Do You Want?!" profile, please email JadoreMissEmme@gmail.com with "profile" as the subject. 

bisou, bisou

Miss Emme

Earth Girls Aren't Easy: The Winter Boos

It's cold outside, the sun sets at 5 p.m. and something biological is telling you that being alone in your bed at night just isn't right. It's "cuffing season," the time of year when people couple up and everyone on your Twitter timeline feels like cuddling.

Personally, I'm still getting used to being single and the things that come with that. Being completely unattached is a new realm and this season has me missing the companionship. It was nice to have one person to send that energy towards, but not having that isn't stressing me out by any means.

I'm curious as to how other single girls are faring. Are other young women experiencing the "winter blues" and hunting for natural body heat? Is the feeling truly biological, mental or just a social standard? Whatever the reason, the cuffing has been happening all around me.

I must say the amount of phone calls, texts and bbms have definitely increased since the cooler weather has set in. People really just want some company or someone to occupy their time with, but where's the line between finding comfort in someone and making someone your reliable play-thing?

I hate the idea of leading anyone on simply because I enjoy the conversation. I like to talk, I like to laugh and like any human being, I enjoy the attention. I'm capable of participating in that sort of relationship without building more attraction or expecting the relationship to reach another level. Sometimes, I feel as if I need to pump the brakes a bit in order to send the message that things won't be going any further. I just realized while writing this that that can be detrimental to finding a potential partner that may actually be good for me [Self discovery at its finest. Who knew?]. However, I won't used the winter weather as an excuse to rush into something else.

Back to the point! Is cuffing season something that's dangled over our heads? Is it even worth it to be cuffed up in anticipation of the summer break-up? Are you cuffing this season?

I've come to the conclusion that the urge to be paired is some natural animal instinct in us to help us survive winter and procreate come spring. Isn't that how rabbits work it out? It's so simple, but then again nothing about human beings is.

bisou, bisou

Miss Emme

What Do You Want?!: The Ones in Charge

There's a reason why these two are the ones in charge! Meet Manny, my good friend who runs Fresh Honesty and Nkem, the president of the MSU section of the NPHC. 

Name: Emanuel Bennett 

Age: 23

Occupation: Photographer

Hometown: Brooklyn, NY

Relationship Status: Boo'd Up

What physical attributes attract you to a woman?  

Eyes, Smile, Teeth, Lips, Breast, Legs, Voice

What intangible characteristics do you find important?

Understanding and Trust. 

What's your favorite thing about Black women?

Strength.

Would you date women of other races? Why or why not?

Sure, people are people even if they descend from other tribes.

If you could tell Black women everywhere the perfect piece of advice, what would it be?

Love yourself and embrace your beauty. You are the most exotic, most powerful and most important force on this earth so start acting like it.

If you could pick anyone in the world on a romantic date, who would it be?

It's a secret...

Name: Nkemdilim [kem-dill-em] Uzoka
Age: 22
Occupation: Student
Hometown: Largo, Maryland
Relationship Status: Single


What physical attributes attract you to a man?

Like a basketball player/ quarterback physique. Must be taller. I like thicker, well shaped eyebrows. I like someone who resembles a feline. Nice smile, great lips. Nice teeth, too. You've got to have nice hands. Well-fitted clothes, everything has to look clean and no dirty sneakers. Pretty boys. Pretty eyes.

What intangible characteristics do you find important?

Sensitivity, I like a guy who's not afraid to show his emotions. You've got to be able to laugh at yourself and being gentle is important. And spontaneous! Intelligent, too.

What's your favorite thing about Black men?

They're drive. When a Black man really wants something, whether it's good or bad they do whatever it takes to get it. And I like the diversity within our culture.

Would you date men of other races? Why or why not?
Hell yeah. Why not?


If you could give Black men everywhere the most perfect piece of advice, what would it be?
Keep your head up. Psych! Black women really appreciate you. 


If you could pick anyone in the world to take on a romantic date, who would it be?
Lil Fizz. [she's serious] And Lance Gross.

If you're interested in having a "What Do You Want?!" profile posted, email JadoreMissEmme@gmail.com with interview as the subject.

bisou, bisou

Miss Emme